In this case, i thought i was gonna have halloween ALL to myself. My mom in bed then off to work. My dad sleeping or handing out treats to kids. No brother downstairs. No friends bugging me with their "You should go to this party". i got part of that... luckily, my friends must know i don't like parties so they didn't bug me... but of course, when i do get time to myself away from zeke, my brother can't shut up downstairs...
I didn't get the day to myself like i thought cause zeke didn't have to work... i'm sure i won't get tomorrow to myself... *sigh* And of course spending a day from school at home is impossible... people are driving me up the wall again. This could be a major problem if they continue to bother me further... i may storm out in rage and do bad stuff, or just storm out and hide in the night shadows, being eatten by bugs... >>''

A good thing about today though. I saw this guy with red contacts and fangs... IN MY TOWN... o-o its odd... and hard to believe cause you know, those people don't live in my dumb town... i wanted to hug him but i was froze by the fact he looked creepy and "i want your blood" but talked normal... o-O Squee...

i'm sleepy... where are you sleep that will not follow me?

Okay... so, you know, I used to love my guidance counsler... cause i thought she was very nice. Until I had to do college stuff and reilized just how much she fails at helping. She went from being friendly to bitch in .5 seconds.... Now, thats just what i'm seeing i mean, i'm sure others who know what they're doing obviously don't have the same problem... and it just reminded me of how in the House of Night serious that Nefrit(... i don't have the book infront of me so its spelled wrong) went from being an angel to being a bitch and evil person... o-o''' does this mean my counsler is gonna turn into the Queen -put evil queen name here- from the book? who knows, i sure as hell hope not, cause i'd be drawn to the evil guy SO easily... xD

Anyway, tomorrow is the OFFICIAL FIRST meeting of the Chopper Challange at school. =3 i'm excited. I need an idea though... Ethan said something about gold and blue. Then i told my teacher at lunch while sitting along with him (to show off the bikes, his and the one being changed) and he spoke about actual gold leaf stuff...o.o'' i've seen that stuff at art... its HARD to work with apperently...
(if you have any ideas for color ro soemthing, please say something!)

COLLEGE! i need to go to college visits... i'm gonna go to an AI one and a UW barron(they have art courses now). I also have to take the ACT. but i have to get a hold of my mom when shes not at work cause i gotta figure this crap out (since shes pullin extra shifts cause my dad got laied off)
Kind of sucks when i think about it because i could have done better in the earlier part of my life, but i didn't because i got depressed. Ever since i know i've been depressed, i should have got help right away to fix all of it. but i didn't. Then with my dad loosing his spot, we won't have health insurance. I mean, i have BadgerCare but i don't think they will pay for a shrink. Its kind of funny, because 6th grade was AWESOME. I loved all my teachers and passed every class(exept english cause my english teacher didn't know how to teach). Ever since 7th grade, my mood for the world started to turn away. Like, i know people just hate school but i just hated life... then my sister got me hooked on MSN which led to getting hooked onto the internet. Through the rest of middle school, i was always found there, because i used it to excape the real world. It kept me alive atleast... then i reilised i was depressed like back in sophmore year... so i tryed to cope with it. my moods haven't gotten extreamly better... I'm still depressed, though i'm trying my hardest to be HAPPY. I love to be happy. I love it when i can hop around like an idiot and not care. School still brings me down, the past week i think i've done alright. ... Theres still a chance of me going into a loop agian because of all the stress though.

OH! I'm writing a short story for Creative Writing. it has to do something with Fear.

So... I'm still going on that rollercoaster of emotions. I'm trying my best to look past it all and try to move on with life and ect. I'm actually doing better than I was. Though i still have panic attacks...

On a better note, i'm passing all my classes. =3 Including Wildlife managment which i thought i'd be failing cause... well its not an amazing class...

I gotta remember to go check out scholarships... and colleges... STUFF I WILL DEFEAT YOU AND THEN CELEBRATE SOME HOW! D< thats how i help get through my depression. I do something needed to be done and i try to celebrate or treat myself with something, even though thats kind of hard to do with little to no money... Though!!!

IF ANYONE CAN GIVE ME AN ART JOB I WOULD THANK THEM WITH ALL MY BEING! D=

I find the House of Night series very addicting. I just finished the third book Chosen last night. I really really really REALLY want the forth book... and fifth and six, but if i get the others, i need to buy the first book too to complete my collection. XD

It was awesome. To sum it up, i got a lot of things and a local worker perv. kept looking down my vest....
A little longer version(morefull): I went along with three buddies from school. Drew was paying for everything as a "sorry i moved and we don't talk much anymore..." thing. I got a Tortuga twin shirt, Crystal stix(basicpair)((a game)), ocrina, pet dragon AND a little claw necklace with a translusint marble in the claw. I was gonna get a picture up of me in my outfit but never did, so maybe when i get my senior photos taken, i'll do that for one.
Yeah. The perverted guy story... is a long story so if you wanna hear about it, just ask, i don't feel like repeating myself so much. XD its kind of funny in a way. I will tell you he kept showing up standing on a bench to look down my vest...